“Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light. “ Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation].
Last week God started revealing parts of my heart that I didn’t like very much. Instead of what I used to do, which was try to do everything I could do figure out how to be my own savior and to fix it or make that better, I ran to Him. All week I started running to Jesus. Practically that looked like me walking around the house saying I surrender I don’t know what to do. I had no idea that “all the things” I was doing to just be with Jesus, or be a responsible grown up, had become heavy burdens. To me I was doing good things. Right. Waking up early to run, worshipping, trying to eat good, taking care of my family, I was on top of it. However, none of that was giving me Jesus. I was starting to feel empty and tired again. It didn’t make sense I had been doing the same things for the last 6 months and had been encountering Jesus . Than all of the sudden just felt blah and felt like I wasn’t hearing Him throughout all my day. Where did I miss Him? He never leaves us so I knew He was there but I just felt a distance between us. Last week, as I was praying, Jesus grabbed me in His arms and said, Melissa, I choose you. I cried. The enemy tries to make me feel ashamed anytime God reveals these things in my heart. But ya know what. I don’t take that bait anymore either. I am a daughter, I know I am loved and He found pleasure in me before I ever knew Him. So now that I am getting to know Him, He still loves me I don’t have to have it figured out. In fact, I will never have it figure out!
There is so much freedom right there. He has had to slow me down so I can rest and lean back in His chest. Rest! Rest in Him. Be, sit down with Him. Let Him do all the talking.
We have a practice in my home called quiet time. Its something I look forward to everyday of my life. I love me some tea/coffee and reading, music, or whatever it is to be with Jesus. My two year old takes a nap, and my five year old and seven year old when he’s home has quiet time. I have them read or play quietly on their bed or in their room. My middle son gets so much out of imagining and playing but sometimes he gets so carried away. He doesn’t know the concept of being quiet. I found him running down the hall, going in and out of his room etc. You get the picture. However, I am not ok with this. I can’t rest for even a minute if that’s happening. So finally, I took the toys and told him that until he learns to follow my directions he needs to stay on his bed and we will try again tomorrow. This made him so sad, he cried. I left feeling so sad. I asked the Lord did I hurt him? The Lord said yes, and I realize it was because he loves playing so much that of course that hurt to take his toys away. However, I was sad that I had to be the one to discipline him. I had to take away the very thing he loved so much so he can learn to obey. As soon as I realized that, I might look like the bad guy in his eyes, I broke down. I did it because I love him. I went back in his room to see how he was, he had fallen asleep. Probably the thing he needed to do anyway. I realized that this was alot like what God was walking me through last week. I knew I needed to slow down and rest in Him. I was afraid of slowing down. I was afraid if I stopped “doing” all the things I loved in hopes to connect with Him, I didn’t know how to connect with God. Ha. That makes me laugh now, He is so much bigger. The real problem was there were things in my heart that I couldn’t see that He wanted to heal. That is what was keeping me from being still with Him. So I was “doing” alot of things that were wearing me out. They weren’t fulfilling me anymore because my heart was bleeding and I didn’t know it and He wanted to heal me. So He ran after me. He chose me.
I choose you. That’s what Jesus says to me. That’s what He says to you. He chooses you. He runs to you and chooses you no matter what. What is your response to His love? When there is a disconnect. Just walk around everyday if you have to and say I surrender God. We can walk away or we can come in for the bear hug and receive this love. Yes, it feels painful for a moment when He reveals the pain in our heart but it feels so good when we allow Him in to heal us! There is freedom and love that He has for us. Once we choose to respond to Him, it is much easier to choose our spouse, kids and all the others God has given us to love!